What Being "Open-Minded" Means to Me

There’s a program I love called Sages and Seekers. It's an 8-week online program that brings together high school and college students with older adults (65+), connecting hundreds of people from across the country. In every session, the sages and the seekers get to converse together, laugh together, and learn more about each other. 

I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to participate in Sages and Seekers several times. I love it. I love talking with the sages. I love hearing about their life now and when they were young, how they grew up during a time that’s now in the history books. I love pondering and debating and exchanging life stories and updates; I love laughing and thinking. 

And I love asking questions. 

Lots and lots of questions. 

And one of my favorite questions to ask is always: “What are some of your greatest pieces of advice?”

If you know me, you know why I chose that question. I’m always looking for different tips and perspectives, lessons people have learned. And because these sages have lived so long, have had so many wild experiences, their advice, I thought, would be extra valuable. 

To my surprise, when I asked that question, many of them gave me a very similar answer.

They told me, “Stay open-minded.”

I had heard of the term “open-mindedness” before. Maybe too many times, in fact—even to the point of it becoming cliché. Yet I didn’t want to dismiss these sages’ advice, gained from decades upon decades of experience, as cliché. At least not straight away. 

Being open-minded is viewed by most people as a positive thing. It means being open to accepting new ideas and opinions, often different from the ones you hold. But, I think, even with the definition, “open-mindedness” is still a very broad term. It might mean something a little different for everyone.

Ever since I heard this from the sages, I’ve pondered long and hard about what open-mindedness really means. Because the term is so broad, it can become complicated—sometimes even controversial. The more I thought about it, the more complicated it became. Is it a virtue, really, or a weakness?

In what areas of life should I be open-minded? And how, exactly, do I do it? To what extent should I be accepting of another’s opinion? Is it truly a good piece of advice?

Where do I draw the line?

After reflecting on the advice of the sages, and also from my own experiences, I’ve finally come to a definition of open-mindedness (as a virtue). Below, I will describe what being open-minded means—and what it shouldn't mean—to me.

First, let's start with what open-mindedness does not mean. To me, it does not mean:

• Abandoning critical thinking.

• Confusing politeness for agreement.

• Accepting that all ideas are equally true.

• Changing my mind for social approval.

• Being gullible and naive.

• Letting myself be easily influenced.

• Trusting people more than principles.

• Not searching for deeper facts other than the ones I’m presented.

• Silencing my own beliefs, emotions, and opinions to make room for others’.

  
  

  

• Being “open” to only one side of the argument.

• Refusing to make decisions.

• Suppressing my intuition & emotions.

• Blindly believing that what everyone says is true.

• Forcing myself to do something I’m not ready for.

• Forcing myself to change & grow just to please others.

• Adapting too much, being comfortable with the bad things.

• Becoming indecisive & avoiding judgment altogether. 

• Thinking all opinions are equally valid.

• Accepting or tolerating evil, disrespect, and harm—“because it’s just a different way of thinking.”

• Not setting any boundaries.

• Dismissing my own moral standards.

• Believing everything I’m told is true.

• Not having any personal opinions or preferences.

• Never coming to any conclusions in order to “remain open.”

• Surrendering my core values.

So, what exactly does being open-minded mean? Well, here's the list I've made so far:

• Staying curious and committed to learning. 

• Avoiding black-and-white thinking.

• Being open to new arguments.

• Staying aware of cognitive biases.

• Being willing to revise previously held beliefs, if credible opposing facts arise.

• Respecting others’ viewpoints, even if we don’t share the same opinion.

• Being humble, having humility.

• Being teachable.

  
  

  

  
  

• Seeking wisdom.

• Staying patient, especially when I don’t have all the answers.

• Distinguishing confidence from certainty.

• Recognizing that I may be wrong.

• Embracing growth.

• Trying out new foods, activities, and experiences.

• Being willing to go out of my comfort zone.

• Accepting & embracing the fact that I will change and grow a lot throughout life.

• Being able to judge fairly.

• Being open to adapting.

• Sometimes being comfortable with uncertainty.

• Seeking out perspectives different from my own.

• Being patient.

• Being open to feedback and constructive criticism. 

• Being curious about hobbies and activities “outside my type.”

  
  

  

• Listening, without immediately judging.

• Reflecting on past mistakes without shame.

• Being willing to revise habits and goals.

• Understanding that everyone has had a childhood, different circumstances, & different background.

• Being eager to explore new cultures and traditions.

• Understanding that differing life experiences have helped shape who we are.

• Exploring new social and cultural experiences.

• Being willing to forgive.

• Admitting my mistakes.

• Being open to non-conventional ideas.

  
  

  

• Being compassionate.

• Being aware of stereotypes.

• Separating facts from ideology.

• Valuing insights of others with different experiences.

• Understanding other people’s emotions, and where they are coming from.

• Accepting different traditions & lifestyles.

• Staying curious about different customs and beliefs.

• Accepting that I will never be “perfect,” and yet am loved and worthy all the same.

To sum it up, being open-minded, to me, is a good thing; but there is a limit as to when it gets too far. It shouldn't be about agreeing with every opinion or abandoning core beliefs. No. To me, being open-minded is about seeking truth. It’s about learning when to listen, when to question, and when to stand firm.

Of course, everyone might disagree with some of these points. I think that’s completely okay. Part of being open-minded is recognizing that different people will see the world differently, and I encourage you to share your thoughts or even your disagreements in the comments.

That’s why I love programs like Sages and Seekers. They bring together people from different generations, experiences, and perspectives. In that space, you get to hear wise advice, ask questions, and see the world in ways you might never have considered. If you want to explore more, meet inspiring people, and practice your own open-mindedness, I really encourage you to check it out. Because the more we listen, the more we grow. And sometimes, the most unexpected voices teach us the most.

-Julie