10 Things to Remember When Doing Hard Things

I've learned, slowly and steadily throughout my life, that the older I got, the more hard things I seem to need to do. I think this is because, on top of all the challenging things I learned to overcome previously, more and more and more are added on top of the stack, without the old ones being taken away.

Learning to communicate was hard as a baby. I don't remember it, but I'm sure it was. Learning to walk was maybe even tougher. I don't remember it, either, but I'm sure it took months and months of hard work and falls and crying before I finally did it. Not long after learning to walk, I had to learn the alphabet, begin school, and learn the social rules there, while also, of course, talking and communicating and walking. 😉 As an older kid, let's add on homework, chores, increasing expectations, life changes, school, extracurriculars, and navigating the ever-changing social dynamics. Of course here I am still walking and communicating and remembering my alphabet and keeping up with the social norm on top of everything new.

As a teen, let's throw in a few part-time jobs, learning to drive, learning what the world is really like, figuring what I wanted to "do with my life," stressing about all the problems going on in the world, dreaming about the future, being smacked by reality, dreaming on anyway, keeping up grades, taking hard classes, trying new things, keeping my head up, taking an insane amount of tests, more tests, applications, more applications, worrying about the future, and so on and so forth. Of course, none of the previous things were going away, either.

Now for the future. Let's add on paying the bills, managing money, saving money, finding a good career path, working full-time, chasing my dreams (if they haven't died yet 😭), establishing relationships, having a family, raising kids (and the hundreds and maybe thousands of challenges that come with that in itself), facing loss, having health issues, juggling responsibilities as well as taking care of myself, growing old, growing even older, etc., etc., etc.

I'm sure not all of these challenges are horrible; on the contrary, most that I've experienced, so far, have turned out to be exciting or at least fulfilling. Or even if they were difficult as I was first getting accustomed to them, they turned out later to be important in teaching me valuable lessons, and the skills I gained from them will probably stick with me throughout my entire life.

But all the same, it's difficult. It's difficult and time-consuming, and energy-sapping—maybe not one of them or two of these hard things, but all of them together and all at once. And I won't pretend I haven't questioned at times why I was doing them in the first place, why I should keep my grades up or write essays or give up my own time to help others or care about the terrible things going on in the world when I couldn't change a thing.

Why, wouldn't it be so much better to choose the easier path?

So I made myself a little list to encourage myself. And it went something like this:

1. Hard things won't just go away if you hide your face from them. They'll get worse. Focus on balancing the long-term and the short-term. (For example, exercising can be hard, but will it pay off? Wouldn't I rather exercise a little now and a little every day, than face all the health problems that will come in the future from lack of physical activity? Studying for this test is hard, but is the alternative better? Getting poor marks will probably cause more stress in the long run, compared to spending just an hour or two today.)

   
   

   

2. Just because no one is watching you doesn't mean it doesn't matter. God is always watching you. Wisdom and knowledge and experience are better than fame and popularity. If no one applauds me for my accomplishments, it doesn't matter—because I'm not doing it for others' approval in the first place. A little acknowledgement is great, but if I know I'm doing it with right and good intentions, then it's between me and God.

   
   

   

3. It's okay if these "hard things" aren't about bearing visible fruit yet. It's just as worthwhile if it's focused on growth. Notice the words of the verse below "in season." Everything takes time (see an earlier post about it here), but that doesn't mean the journey isn't worthwhile. When I think about this applying to my life, I think about writing. I love writing; I write almost every day. I'm not publishing anything yet, though, but does this mean all my writing has gone to waste? Of course not. Even if I never publish at all, the joy and growth writing has brought be will make it all worthwhile.

4. Flashy hard things are not inherently better than quiet hard things. You don't need your own title to have your actions matter. Founding your own business or publishing a bestseller or performing at Carnegie Hall are all awesome, but giving your favorite toy to that sick child or playing piano for the people at a hospice or smiling at that stranger in passing might have impacts just as meaningful, or maybe even more meaningful, because nobody else is congratulating you, and you're doing it anyway.

   
   

   

   
   

5. Remember that all of your strength, and all of your talent, and all of your opportunities come from God. Therefore, give your glory to God. Especially after accomplishing a lot of hard things, I find myself becoming prideful in all that I've done. This is something I've been trying to work on. It's one thing to be glad that the fruits of your labor have paid off and joyful that you've finally met a goal, and another to attribute all the success and glory to yourself.

6. Give your burdens to God, too. Pray to Him often. He's with you on your journey, and especially when it gets hard. You don't have to do it all alone; you don't have to go through difficult things in silence. He's here when you are pushing yourself to your limits, and He's here when life gets hard on its own accord without you wanting it to. He'll give you rest and peace and if you let Him.

   
   

   

7. Have a support system. Find people you can trust to help you. In recent years, I have found good friends and teachers to keep me accountable and encourage me to challenge myself, and I have my family to comfort me when things are tough. It's so valuable to find others who care.

   

8. It's okay (and sometimes wise) to say no. Not adding more "hard things" to the pile doesn't make you weak. Instead, it demonstrates wisdom and sound judgment. Nobody can do all the hard things in the world at once. They would burn out too fast. Figure out what your priorities are, because some hard things will take up the time for you to do other things. Which responsibilities will you take on, and which will you decline, or put on hold? Which are more important to you, or more urgent?

9. Rest when you need to. It's okay to rest and withdraw. Even God rested on the seventh day (Genesis 2:2–3). Jesus often withdrew from the crowds to somewhere quiet where He could pray (Luke 5:16). If you go around doing hard things all day every day, you'll wear yourself out—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Rest is beneficial and will give you more energy in the long run. Rest could mean sleeping; it could also mean doing something calming, easy, or fun. These things are not inherently bad at all.

   
   

   

10. Do hard things throughout your entire life, in such a way that you don't burn yourself out all at once. Keep bringing yourself out of your comfort zone. Try new things. Stay open-minded. Build solid habits that will last throughout your life. Pursue what is good and true. Don't wear yourself down. Find beauty in the things you do, and in the things around you. Seek God. Choose the narrow path.

    
    

    

(One last things that I wanted to add is that, sometimes, it's better to work smarter instead of harder. Just as you don't want to spend months and months trying to throw down a brick wall if you could just easily go around it or climb over it, it's important to stop and think, "Is this hard thing worthwhile? Are there other options that are better?" For example, instead of spending hours copying math formulas, I could spend ten minutes turning them into a song or slogan, making them easier to remember with the same result. Sometimes, of course, working "smarter" is a bad thing (like cheating on a test). But not always. We just have to examine it case-by-case.)

Some of you are going through hard things right now outside of your control. To all of you—I will be praying for you. I understand to some degree how tough life can be, but the challenges will only make us stronger as time passes.

I know that some of you are challenging themselves to break low expectations and reach goals and leap over obstacles. To those of you—I see you. Have faith. You've got this!

To all of you—you're not alone, and with the strength God gives you, you can do it. I know you can.

I hope this blog post has helped you to some degree, as it has encouraged me over the years. If you find that you enjoyed it, it would mean the world to me if you could share it with a friend whom it might encourage. <3

All my best,

Julie